How Do You Mend A Broken Heart? The Love Story Of Brad And Jamaica Miller – Part 2

Jamaica and Brad Miller_Civilian clothesLast week we gave you Part 1 of the story of Brad and Jamaica Miller, an interracial couple who shared their photos with The Swirl World Facebook page.

We enjoy sharing beautiful photos of couples, yet we’re always aware there is a story behind the photo – what were the circumstances bringing this couple get together? Where did they meet? How did they manage to fall in love?

One thing about life and love: Sometimes it doesn’t come wrapped in a pretty package, all neatly tied with a bow.

Sometimes life is convoluted and conflicting, yet somehow it all seems to work out in the end.

Try to remain judgment free.

Jamaica continues: 

Who was on the line? My now-husband Brad trying get his Mack on!

He’d seen me at the mall and gotten my number from one of my friends. He proceeded to say, “Hey, didn’t I just see you at the mall?”

Not knowing who the man was, I replied, “No, I’m sure of it. There’s no way.”

He says, “Are you sure?”

When I said yes, he said, “You must have a twin as beautiful as you – she walked right past me in the mall!”

He sent me a friend request on Facebook and was honest about the fact that he was interested in me but my guard was up wayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy high from all the hurt and pain I’d been through. I knew he was interested in more, but I told him that I was going through a divorce and could not move forward with anyone until and unless it was final.

Of course in the back of my head I wished I was completely free but I detached myself from Brad and told him we could never be anything more. Right after that, Brad was deployed to Korea.

During the midst of it all I prayed to God and asked, what is this??? Here’s this man who seems really nice and could be all a girl could ever want for a man and husband.

I said this can’t be your work because I’m still married and I know you forbid this behavior. I was seeing all of what Brad was and I prayed that my husband could be that type of man too.

So, even though I was confused as ever, I became even more determined to try to work things out with my husband. 

Three months pass by, and then I looked up and a more than a year had passed. In that time my marriage hadn’t gotten any better and my husband was still just going from woman to woman. I was still one foot out the door seeing no nope.

Orders come up that my husband is getting stationed back in Kentucky. I was sad to leave my church home, friends and my sisters. I wanted to stay right there, which I could have done, but my heart I believed God was saying, “Go; just trust me.”

It was then early December 2012, and we were back on the road to Kentucky. We stopped off to visit family in South Carolina.

On December 25 I was in bed crying about how unhappy I was. All I wanted was for my husband to love me – this was the story of my life. It was Christmas and all he had done was leave me behind at the house – again.

Suddenly there was a loud knock at the door. Someone rushed in to tell us my husband had been in a car accident. My heart was racing with mixed feelings – Lord . . . ?

We get to the scene and it was a sight to see: I had been crying about my husband leaving me at home, but if he’d taken me with him, that would’ve been me in the passenger seat – lifeless.

His best friend died on impact. My husband, who was driving, had broken ribs and head trauma. His cousin, who was in the back seat on the right side, had his face cut open.

We were now stuck in South Carolina and traveling back and forth to Fort Jackson. I’m praying, Lord why??? What are you telling me??? All I could hear was “Just trust me.” I instantly thought, ‘Till death do us part,’ and soldiered on.

I nursed my husband back to health, listening to his many cries to the doctors of “Where’s my wife? I need her here!” He was in ICU and the times were limited when I could visit.

One trying month passed. I thought the accident was a sign to keep working at my marriage, but nope. As soon as the doctor cleared him to take it slow and get back to living, he left me at his Mom’s house and took a flight back to Colorado to be with another woman – three days before my 26th birthday.

The texts and lies continued until finally a video of him in the act confirmed it all. I said, “Lord you told me to trust in you, but this can’t be it right?

March came and I couldn’t wait to get home to family. My sisters could tell something was wrong. They know Kentucky isn’t home for me. Even so, I kept saying I was fine.

April came and my husband was seeing yet another woman. I called my sisters in Christ and let them know nothing had changed; they reminded me of the Lord’s vision of marriage. I got what was to be my last phone call from one of my husband’s women and told that woman, “You can have him.” I filed for divorce again, and this time I meant it. 

Stay tuned for the final installment in Part 3.

 

Join In The Fray: Have you ever stayed too long in a dead-end relationship? What finally made you call it quits?

 Want to be profiled here on the blog and on our Facebook page? Contact us via inbox on Facebook or send an email to Profiles@TheSwirlWorld.com. 

Copyright © 2013 Michelle Matthews Calloway, ASwirlGirl™, The Swirl World™, All rights reserved. Photos used with permission.

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How Do You Mend A Broken Heart? Fall In Love With Someone Who Won’t Break It! The Story Of Brad And Jamaica Miller – Part 1

We’ve all seen it: Pictures of a storybook wedding complete with a dreamy guy and girl whose story seems to come straight out of a fairy tale.

Even though in our little girl hearts many of us would love to be that girl in the photos, if we’re honest life experiences have taught our “big girl” hearts that sometimes the road to love is not characterized by a smoothly sailing ship – no, sometimes the road to love is filled with bumps and bruises – real ones.

Mrs. Jamaica Miller, wife of Brad Miller reached out to us on our Facebook page. She shared her storybook photos – and was also very honest and transparent in telling the not so pretty story that preceded it.

Jamaica and Brad Miller_Wedding photo

Over the next few posts we’ll share Jamaica’s story with you as she shared it with us.

Where do you live?

Fort Polk, Louisiana

How long you have been married?

Six amazing months!

What are the names and ages of your children and/or grandchildren?

We have the most beautiful little girl! Her name is Raionna. She’s 9, and she’s from a past relationship.

For my daughter, this is all she ever wanted and even for myself as a mother living the “single mom” life. My husband instantly took to her and asked me if he could adopt her. As a mother I couldn’t want anything more but for my daughter to have two parents who love her. I asked for her approval and said, “Do you want Brad to be your father?” She said, “YES!”

If you were to ask my husband today what he lives for, his reply would be to be an amazing father to provide all the things he never had, and the most admirable one of all, to serve his country. He’s the most dedicated soldier I know!!! We’re currently “ttc” (trying to conceive).

Jamaica and Brad Miller_daughter dance

How/where did you meet?

Are you ready? This is so funny. So by 2009 I had moved away from Kentucky, which is my childhood home. Now to Colorado Springs, CO – in this time frame my now husband had joined the army and arrived to his first duty station in Kentucky. We didn’t cross paths at all. This is just a little history so you can understand better.

I was previously married, and I was in an abusive marriage. I married a man when all the signs were pointing not too. You see, I grew up with the image “this is love.” Ugh! I’m all teary-eyed! Lol.

So, I’d arrived in Colorado with the drive, and the thought, “This (my previous marriage) will work. God is with me; He can change this man.”

Oh boy was I wrong! I was thinking, ‘New place; new people.’ Nope!  My ex-husband had women lined up to meet – I never saw a phone bill so long. Try not to cry as I continue, but I know my testimony will change lives.

So that first year my life was hell. Picture that little girl at the door begging her Daddy not to go. That was me – that wife begging her husband not to go, knowing he’s running to another woman – and with a push and a punch for me to stay put.

Long story short, after six months in he left me for another woman, with no food, no money, not knowing where to start. Calls from other women – their pregnant calls asking me who I was, as if I was the other woman and was not his wife; like I’m just his crazy baby mom, etc.

You can only imagine how many times the police were called, how many bruises I had hiding under my clothes.

I cried, I cried; I prayed and I cried. The more I cried, the more he left and the closer me and God got. I was on my knees praying, “Lord, I know, I know this isn’t what You have planned for me. That little girl in the other room – I need to get up for her.

I prayed, “Lord, what is Your purpose for me? I know it’s greater than my own understanding. Lord, please find me a church home so I can start on this walk with you.”

Fast forward two years. Same troubles; same tears. I sit on the porch and I see a woman crossing the street toward me. I said in my head, “Please don’t!” She approaches and says, “Hi! My name is Kenyatta. I make jewelry; you should come check it out.”

Me, though I’m a shy soul, I said yes. Her home was so welcoming! She continued to tell me about her wonderful church, which was Open Bible Baptist Church. From that day forward I attended church and car-pooled with her.

My husband only came home for clothes. Days went by with the sun coming up and I still hadn’t seen him. It seemed the closer to God I got, the further he was into the world.

A year later I gave my life to The Lord I was saved and baptized. I separated and filed for divorce after my husband’s last attack landed me in the hospital with a hand cast because I was fighting for dear life trying to get away.

I enrolled in school to become a pharmacy tech, left high and dry and started living on my own. I landed a job in a pharmacy through my church two months into school. My life began to blossom and I couldn’t be more happy. My birthday was February 15 birthday is here and 24 never felt so good.

Two days later I received a Facebook message – yes, FACEBOOK. Guess who it was?

————–

Stay tuned for Part II.

Join In The Fray: Do you believe love comes in neat little packages? Why or why not?

Want to be profiled here on the blog and on our Facebook page? Contact us via inbox on Facebook or send an email to Profiles@TheSwirlWorld.com. 

Copyright © 2013 Michelle Matthews Calloway, ASwirlGirl™, The Swirl World™, All rights reserved. Photos used with permission.

 

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How To Say “Hi” To A Guy And Wind Up Married to Him For 20 Years (And Counting!)

We’ve run a post or two on women who made “the first move” and wound up with the man of their dreams.

And yes, we know a big debate exists on whether women should be first to make a move.

Our position on the subject? Suffice it to say that we believe there’s a HUGE difference between being “Thirsty” and being “Friendly” – and a smart woman (and man) is able to tell the difference.

With that out-of-the-way, meet another couple who exemplifies our theme of Ordinary People . . . Extraordinary Love: 

Niecy and Jeff Aldrich!

Niecy and Jeff Aldrich's wedding photo

Niecy and Jeff Aldrich’s wedding photo

Niecy shared this beautiful photo below of her and Jeff on our Facebook page and it generated tons of comments and likes.  We just had to get their story – and get ready to be surprised, because what Niecy did was . . . well, read on and find out!

Niecy and Jeff Aldrich 1

Where do you live? 

We live in Suffolk, VA

How long you have been together?

Almost half my life! We’ve been together 22 years and married almost 20 of those years.

What are the names and ages of your children and/or grandchildren?

Oh Wow! I was divorced with 3 children when we met and yet . . . Are you getting why I love this man so much???

Any who, our children’s names are Connis (who is now 29), Zavier (now 28), Letia (26 now) and Jovani, now 13.

Niecy and Jeff Aldrich - Four Children

We also have 5 grandchildren; Elijah 8, Kamiyah 6, Kylie 5, Dexter 4 and Cayden is 18 months:

Niecy and Jeff Aldrich - Grandkids

Whew! Seems like a lot when you spell it out but I love them all as one. They make me crazy and happy all at once.

13-year old Javoni

13-year old Javoni

How/where did you meet?

We met in Florida, my home state at the Mayport Naval Station … I can see it in my head, me walking around with my girls trying to look cute (lol!)

Niecy and Jeff Aldrich - Jeff in uniformI remember passing this group of guys that was trying to get my attention. I kept walking of course, but on the way back he (Jeff) caught my eye.

I thought it would probably annoy his friends if I stopped to talk to him (the only White guy in the group), so I did (smile).

I was going to annoy them all and then move on but when I stepped up to him and said “Hello,” he gave me this quizzical look as if to say, “Me?”

It was his eyes . . . they grabbed me. I said something really lame like, “I’m going to marry you and have a daughter with those eyes…. 1 out of 3 ain’t bad – I’ll take it! Lol!

What was your defining moment – that moment when you each knew you were in love?

The moment he met my children and didn’t bat an eye, I knew he was sent to me for my soul mate.

How did you families and friends respond to the news of your relationship? How did you handle it?

My family is literally a melting pot and I grew up around interracial couples, so my family was fine with us.

Some of my friends – or ex-friends, I should say – were a different story. I was called a “sellout” among other things.  I had one so-called friend ask me, “How can you sleep with a white man?”

I had a big fight with one that said “White people smell like wet dogs.” Needless to say I showed her the door face first … I know violence was not the right response but it felt good at the time.

Despite all the negativity we encountered at the beginning we held hands, kept our heads up and ignored the looks and comments. To make a very long story short . . . . Love truly is blind, deaf and dumb, too.

Niecy and Jeff Aldrich 3

What do you like most about your mate?

The thing I’ve always loved the most about Jeff is the way he loves me! When he says he loves me I can feel it. I see it when he looks at me. He has never wavered in his love for me.

What advice would you give to others who are interested in dating/marrying interracially?

The only advice I could give is to love yourself first. That way, when love comes in whatever way, shape or form you will recognize it.

Any parting words?

All I have left is, “I Love You Jeff, more today than yesterday. I’m so grateful that God blessed me with you!”

Jeff Aldrich, who is currently deployed

Jeff Aldrich, who is currently deployed

One more thing, Ladies don’t be shy – take a chance. Walk over; say hi . . . This could be you 22 years from today!

Niecy and Jeff Aldrich - Family

All we have to say is, being friendly certainly worked for Niecy!

Join in the Fray: How do YOU define “Thirsty” and “Friendly?”

All rights reserved. All work is the copyright of the respective owner, otherwise copyright © 2014 Michelle Matthews Calloway, ASwirlGirl™, The Swirl World™, Dallas, TX, USA. Photos used with permission.

Want to be profiled here on the blog and/or on our Facebook page? Contact us via inbox on Facebook or send an email to Profiles@TheSwirlWorld.com.

 

 

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Mondays With Mike: The Providence Of Love

Though we are not a dating site by any means, here at The Swirl World we pride ourselves on the quality of connections we make.

violin rose and music booksOur man Mike in Australia is no exception. We love him to pieces, Adrienne and I, and he feels the same way about us.

We met providentially – and then lo and behold, Cupid got in the mix!

Remember the movie Eat, Pray, Love starring Julia Roberts?

 

For many of us, love is a process. Sometimes Love finds us – or better yet, we find it – in the strangest of ways.

Cue the roses, wine and violins, because this one is a doozy! We’ll let Mike tell you:

MIKE M - THIS ONEThe Fear Factor
We’re often convinced that things are either going to plan, coasting in neutral, or falling apart completely.

While we do have a great deal of control over our lives, sometimes we can be too afraid of what we think is a loss of control, and embrace the certainty that comes with fear of the unknown, and stick to what we know.

This isn’t something unnatural, as everyone needs to have a strong foundation from which they can start from, and rely upon to be unchanging in their lives. But that’s what it just is – a foundation.

You need to be able to build up and branch out from those places, and not just rely on the solitary comforts they provide. Otherwise you wake up one day thinking to yourself that your time has passed you by, and you had a chance before but now it’s gone and there is no bringing it back.

You could use that as a justification to sticking with what you know, resigning yourself to the fact that this is as good as it gets, and that’s that.

Fate Versus Destiny – The Power Of A Moment
Or, you could do something else. I believe a moment acted upon is a moment that is never lost, and can often bring great rewards and opportunities.

It’s the question of fate versus destiny. You could say they mean essentially the same thing, but that’s never rung true for me. It seems that fate is something which happens if you believe that things can’t ever change, that the time you had to be adventurous and excited has gone, and you’re stuck where you are.

Destiny, I believe, is what happens when you take action, no matter what it is, and strike out into the unknown. You never know where it’s going to take you. It looks dangerous, you might get hurt, and you’ll definitely have your setbacks.

But it’s also thrilling. And it’s also life affirming. It makes you feel something strong to the core of your marrow, and often rewards you well for taking the first step.

What Happened When I Stopped Falling For The Okey-Doke

So, what does this have to do with Swirling? Well I’ll tell you. For a long while I thought that black women weren’t interested in white men. I was caught by that lie hook, line and sinker. Then I randomly searched on YouTube one day and found I was completely mistaken. One video led to the next and then to the next, which led me to a YouTube channel.  I thought I would send a message to via their Facebook page, saying how much I loved what they did and thanked them for encouraging swirling.

Providence

Turns out I sent the message to the wrong page, but struck up a great conversation with Michelle and Adrienne, Admins of The Swirl World. They were fantastically warm and inviting, great with a conversation (which we’ve held for a long time now), and really encouraging.

Serendipity

It’s from there I told them about my writing, which they encouraged again, to poetry, to saying I should post poetry for women on #blackgirlsunday on twitter, to me doing so and having a great reception and lots of fun, to finding a girl on there who was really great to talk to, and ending up finding her as my muse for a lot of my creativity, and developing an ongoing relationship with her!

The Power Of One Small Step

If I had not made that first small step, which led me to message the wrong page (which in the end turned out to be the right one!), I’d still be back where I was 6 months ago.

I can tell you that in the last 6 months I have fallen in love with my life once again. I live for feeling my heart flutter, the closeness, the love, the passion and inspiration. And even if this were to end in heartbreak (which I am quite intent on making sure does not happen), I would have to be glad and thankful for this opportunity to show love and have this happiness.

So my main thought today is this – Put yourself out there. Take the chance; you never know where you’ll be taken by the simplest of actions!

You’ll grow stronger than you had ever thought and be richer for it, guaranteed. That’s why I am so glad to see the Swirl World getting people to open up, put themselves out there, and find what they want in life.

Go for it people, you have nothing to lose.

Cheers!

Mike

Editor’s Note: Stay tuned for updates in this unfolding love story!
___________

Join in the Fray: What small step do YOU need to make?

Got a question for Mike? Send it to us via inbox on The Swirl World’s Facebook page or by email to ASwirlGirl@TheSwirlWorld.com.

Follow Mike on Twitter @500and50 read his blog at 500and50.com, or message him on his 500and50 Facebook page.

Want to be profiled here on the blog and on our Facebook page? Contact us via inbox on Facebook or send an email to Profiles@TheSwirlWorld.com. 

Copyright © 2013 Michelle Matthews Calloway, ASwirlGirl™, The Swirl World™, All rights reserved.

 

 

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Swirling Single Of The Week: Danyell Huffman!

We experienced a wonderful response to our first Swirling Single Of The Week, Traci Milam.

Kudos to Traci for being bold enough to step on out there and represent as our first Swirling Single profile. Woot Woot!

[Sidebar: Just so you know, all our Swirling Singles have to complete a profile sheet. We also converse personally with each one. And yes, we engage in some other vetting steps – but ultimately, all vetting is on you.]

This is Adrienne and Me - giving you major side eye if you don't know how to vet.

This is Adrienne and Me – giving you major side eye if you don’t know how to vet.

 With that bit of housekeeping out-of-the-way, say hello to our next Swirling Single Of The Week: Danyell Huffman!

 Danyell 1

TSW Admin. Adrienne Leach had the opportunity to converse with Danyell and ask her some questions:

 Danyell, how long have you been single?

I’ve been single for almost a year or so. 

Tell me about yourself.

I’m definitely a lover. If you asked others about me they’d usually say that I’m a giver with a big heart.  When people say “I’d give the shirt off my back”…I really mean it.  I feel that I was put on earth to help others and I’ve been fortunate enough to be able to do that in my personal life and in my career.

I was raised with strong morals and values and always treat others how I would want to be treated.  I’m severely loyal almost to a fault sometimes but I’m a believer in Karma so things always work themselves out if others try to take advantage of your kindness.

I’m a divorced mother of two and I love my children more than anything in the world; they are my greatest gifts. Everything I do and work towards has been for them . . . . oddly enough they’ve helped me to become a better person.

I’m very ambitious and it is the reason I’ve gotten so far in my career at a younger age.  My career has always been a big part of my life.  I’m passionate about my work and see my work as a reflection of myself so I always give 110%.

Danyell - Work

I’m always going to strive for greatness and will never be content with settling.  That can really throw some people off because once I accomplish one goal it’s on to the next, but that’s just the way that I am.

I want to be able to change the world.  Even though I’m only one person I feel like I can make a difference.  My all-time favorite quote is “You must be the change that you wish to see in the world.” ~Gandhi.

I love the beach (I am a water child).  Anything having to do with the beach is very relaxing to me.  I have a laid-back personality and it’s pretty difficult to make me angry but when and if you ever do . . . watch out!

I’m definitely a girly girl but I don’t mind getting down and dirty either.  I’m a very affectionate person and a hopeless romantic.

A couple of goals I have in this life are to write a book or books and have them published and sell well of course!

Danyell 5

 How long were you married? 

I was married for 6 years. I didn’t get married thinking it would end in divorce, but unfortunately it did. 

What are the qualities that you are looking for in a man and what type of relationship do you want your dating to lead to?

Danyell 7I am not getting any younger.  At this point in my life I don’t want a ton of men in and out of my life and potentially my children’s, so I am looking for something serious (not right away of course), but something that would eventually lead to a long-term relationship.  I’m not looking for a fling or casual dating but someone who is serious about having a family down the line.

It’s important that the man who I end up with understand that he doesn’t have to be a father to my children but I would expect him to eventually love my children like they were his own.  Honesty and loyalty are at the top of my list.

I want someone who I can talk to for hours on end and it never gets old, someone who isn’t closed-minded and sees the bigger picture in life and in our relationship.  I need someone who will not only tell me he loves me but more importantly, show me.  Quality time is big on my list and it’s actually my love language.

I also want someone who isn’t afraid to take risks, ruffle a couple of feathers, and be spontaneous every once in a while.  I believe in keeping things interesting and for me spontaneity is a way to accomplish that.

I need a man who can stand up for himself and not let people walk all over him.  I need a man with great morals and values.  I’m open to men with and without children but they have to be okay with me having children.  I’m open to men from all walks of life.  I’d like to keep my options open, think outside of the box.  Who knows? Maybe I’ll find someone phenomenal!

ASG 191 x 200 ASwirlGirlAll right, now!  If Danyell seems like a lady you’d love to meet, send an email to Profiles@TheSwirlWorld.com and we’ll make an introduction. 

Want to be profiled here on the blog and on our Facebook page? Contact us via inbox on Facebook or send an email to Profiles@TheSwirlWorld.com.

 Copyright © 2013 Michelle Matthews Calloway, ASwirlGirl™, The Swirl World™, All rights reserved. Photos used with permission.

 

 

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Meet Our Youngest Swirlers (They Started Dating At 16!)

One of the things we love most about The Swirl World is the fact that our Swirlers come in all shapes, sizes, ethnicities – and ages.

Some people start Swirling later in life, others claim they’ve been Swirling from the cradle (well, almost).

Today in our continuing series on “Extraordinary People . . . Extraordinary Love” we’re excited to introduce you to the youngest Swirlers we’ve profiled.

Meet Erika Ragans and Jeanpaul Font-ayala!

Erika and Jean 6

Where do you live?

We live in our home town of Jacksonville, Florida. Florida is my birthplace while Jean’s is Puerto Rico. We both go to school but I’m part time because of my full-time job. Jean is a fulltime student.

How long you have been together?

Jean and I are both 20. We’ve been dating 4 years.

Erika and Jean 1

How/where did you meet?

Jeanpaul and I met in high school.  He says he always had a crush on me but didn’t make a move until my boyfriend moved to Texas.

I love telling people about our first date because it was also the first time my Mother meet him. When she first saw Jean, she actually refused to let me go with him because he looked about 30 to her – we were both 15 at the time!

Erika and Jean 2

What was your defining moment – that moment when you each knew you were in love?

Erika: I knew I was in love with Jean when on vacation I wanted to go down to the pool for a quick swim. Jean agreed and we went, but after we got out of the water I realized Jean was covered in red bumps. Turns out his skin is really sensitive to changes in temperature so first the water, and then the cold air made him break out. He knew it would all along – he went swimming just because he knows I love to swim!

Erika and Jean 3

Jeanpaul: I fell in love when we were both standing in front of a mirror. I looked at her and thought, I want to be with her for a very long time.

How did you families and friends respond to the news of your relationship? How did you handle it?

Jean’s family had no real feeling about our relationship but later on when his mother saw how serious we were getting she got a little worried. My family wasn’t that shocked since I’ve never really dated someone my race.

What do you like most about your mate?

Jean: I love Erika’s personality and the fact that she’s willing to work through any of our problems.

Erika: The thing I love most about Jean is that he will always do his best to make me happy.

What advice would you give to others who are interested in dating/marrying interracially?

Our advice for people who want to date or marry someone who is a different race is this: forget skin color – just be with whoever makes you happy!

Erika and Jean 7

Erika and Jeanpaul – we’re happy you made that discovery at such a young age!

Swirl on.

 

Want to be profiled here on the blog and on our Facebook page? Contact us via inbox on Facebook or send an email to Profiles@TheSwirlWorld.com.

 Copyright © 2013 Michelle Matthews Calloway, ASwirlGirl™, The Swirl World™, All rights reserved. Photos used with permission.

 

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Swirling Single Of The Week: Traci Milam!

So yesterday we discussed the fact that having to “kiss a lot of frogs” seemed to be par for the course in the quest to find true love.

We said we believe that frogs don’t have to get in the way – The Swirl World is home to some pretty amazing people who simply need to meet each other.

We also put up a ton of DISCLAIMERS and gave you some good links to expert advice on vetting from Mrs. Eugenia Berg of “Married Girl In A Weird World.”

Now that we’ve gotten all the housekeeping done and all the disclaimers out-of-the-way, we’re happy to introduce our first Swirling Single: Ms. Traci Milam!

Traci M 1

Woot Woot!

Traci, tell us about yourself.

I am 35 years old, and I live in Memphis, TN. I currently teach History in my local public school system. I am open-minded; I love studying and learning about different cultures.

I am an honest, genuine woman. If I give you a smile and a compliment I truly mean it. I will appreciate the right guy for who he is. I want my feminine power to compliment his masculine power.

Traci M 2

How do you approach relationships?

For me, doing little things are important; leaving notes for him just let him know that he’s in my thoughts. Speaking his “love language,” and willing to learn what makes him feel loved – making sure there is a balance of partnership to the relationship.

I am compassionate and a great listener. I think that this is a major part of maintaining a healthy relationship. I will support my partner, keeping the lines of communication open so that we can have those important conversations.  I want to be able to read his moods, understand his concerns, and NOT make fun of his insecurities. Sometimes showing empathy is all that’s needed.

I want to disagree in a respectful manner and remember that differences of opinions don’t have to crush the relationship.

I love to laugh am constantly finding the humor in life. Laughter is at times the best medicine for what ails you.

Traci M 3

Tell us about your family.

I am close to my family. We see one another at least once a week. We have a lot of fun together sharing…laughter can often be heard throughout my parent’s house when everyone visits.

I love going out with my two older sisters or just spending time sitting around shooting the breeze. My nieces and nephews are a joy to spend time with. I regularly attend their sports events, spelling bees, etc.

My parents are a true blessing in all of our lives. They are also hilarious. I often, tell my friends that my family should have their own reality show LOL!  ;-)

What do you like to do for fun?

I love traveling, visiting museums, going to live concerts and shopping.  I’m a real FASHIONISTA! ;-)

I also love to dance – I was a competitive pom-pom dancer in high school. I danced for my college team and for an NFL team.

Traci M 5

What are your tastes in television and music?

One of my favorite TV channels is the History Channel. I’m historian after all!  I also love Modern Family and Big Bang Theory.

Musicians that I like: Prince, Lauryn Hill, Beyoncé, Gwen Stefani, Lady GaGa, Maroon 5, Stevie Wonder, Marvin Gaye, Erykah Badu, Kelis, Pink, Outkast and  The Roots.

Would you like to have children?

Children: I would like maybe to have one child.

Are you willing to relocate?

If the right person comes along I would, of course, discuss relocation as an option.

So Traci, what are you looking for in a mate?

Traci 7

Someone who is genuine:  A man who is honest with his partner and willingly shares how his day went and asks about mine in return. A man who gives a woman a genuine compliment to her face rather than wolf whistling. One who says “Please” and “Thank you,” and means it.

A man who is just kind to others and not just for his own self-interest.

A man who is Good-Hearted: Kind and generous; romantic and family oriented.

Getting to know her parents and actually taking the time to earn their trust and approval. (Some people think that asking them for permission before proposing is outdated, but I still believe in it.)

Someone who won’t mind sending a little message to make sure I got home alright, and actually mean it, or bring flowers, just because – no need to wait for a special occasion.

Possesses emotional Intelligence and is very supportive – He leaves the lines of communication open so that we can have meaningful conversations. He tries to understand my concerns, and does NOT make fun of my insecurities.

A man who argues in a respectful manner and remembers that differences of opinions don’t have to crush the relationship.

Intelligent and supportive: Knowledgeable of general world events and able to converse in a socially acceptable manner. College educated would be great but I also absolutely love a man in uniform – military man, police officer, firefighter, etc. ;-)

And, of course, I am willing to support his dreams as long as the risk is viable. We will be a team, partners – us against the world! ;-) 

 So there you have it! If Traci seems like a lady you’d love to meet, send an email to Profiles@TheSwirlWorld.com.

 

Want to be profiled here on the blog and on our Facebook page? Contact us via inbox on Facebook or send an email to Profiles@TheSwirlWorld.com.

 Copyright © 2013 Michelle Matthews Calloway, ASwirlGirl™, The Swirl World™, All rights reserved.

 

 

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How To Meet Your Prince/Princess Without Kissing A Lot Of Frogs

We’ve all heard the saying: “You have to kiss a lot of frogs in order to find your Prince/Princess.”

FROG

While that saying may hold true for some and may even be the story of your life to this point, we in The Swirl World want you to take heart and ponder these questions:

What if finding true love didn’t have to be so hard?? What if there really ARE some good men and women out there who would make wonderful mate – and how in the world can I meet him/her?

Our Facebook page is On Fire with lots of great single men and women who have heard the same tired proverb, and are asking themselves the very same questions.

They’re attractive, smart, well-adjusted and possess many good character traits.

They’re not loony and they’re not cray-cray.

Insane man in a straitjacket

Stalking? They’re not about that life.

They’re also not lazy, trifling, good-for-nothing or looking for a free ride.

Their intent is to “do no harm” and give 100% to a relationship.

They want to do someone good, and not evil, all the days of his/her life.

They want to be in a relationship for the long haul. 

If you’re interested in a booty call, cat-fishing or a fly-by-night relationship, YOU’VE GOT THE WRONG ONE, BABY.

attractive caucasian man shot in studio

 

They simply want a chance to love – and be loved.

If this sounds like you, then The Swirl World is where you need to be.

Starting tomorrow, we’re going to present some Swirling “Princes and Princesses” who may just be the person who qualifies as “Your Last First Kiss.” 

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If we profile someone you take a fancy to and you connect with them, will you still have to vet him/her??

OF. COURSE. YOU. WILL!

OF. COURSE. YOU. WILL!

OF. COURSE. YOU. WILL!

(And just in case you didn’t know it, OF. COURSE. YOU. WILL!)

This is Adrienne and Me - giving you major side eye.

This is Adrienne and Me – giving you major side eye.

Yes, YOU will still have to get to know a person, Yes, YOU will still have to vet, vet, vet – and VET AGAIN.

Presenting people is on us – VETTING IS  ON YOU.

This bears repeating:

Yes, YOU will still have to get to know a person, Yes, YOU will still have to vet, vet, vet – and VET AGAIN.

Presenting people is on us – VETTING IS ON YOU. 

And just in case you need a crash course on vetting, we very happily refer you to the Queen of Vetting herself, Mrs. Eugenia Berg, a.k.a. “Married Girl In A Weird World.” 

(We’re happy to report that Mrs. Berg and her loving hubby are now expecting TWINS! Woot Woot!)  

Mrs. Berg was kind enough to supply free coaching information on vetting on her blog.

Whether you believe you know how to properly vet or not, If you have any brains at all, you will thank the good Lord for Eugenia’s free advice and give a listen here, here and here.   

So now, on the subject of vetting: Have we made ourselves perfectly clear?

Ok; by the look on your face, we have made ourselves PERFECTLY clear.

Ok; by the look on your face, we have made ourselves PERFECTLY clear.

 If we have, stay tuned. Our first “Swirling Single” will be presented tomorrow!

Till then, Swirl On.

Join in the Fray: Are you a Prince/Princess – or a Frog?

Want to be profiled here on the blog and on our Facebook page? Contact us via inbox on Facebook or send an email to Profiles@TheSwirlWorld.com.

 Copyright © 2013 Michelle Matthews Calloway, ASwirlGirl™, The Swirl World™, All rights reserved.

 

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Mondays With Mike: Why I Celebrate Black Women In Poetry (Part 2)

So last week on Mondays With Mike, our favorite Aussie shared a beautiful poem penned to (and for) his muse, @MissLJay20.

Mike's Muse

Today, Mike gives us the details on why he celebrates Black Women in poetry (and is inspired by his Muse):

Why I Celebrate Black Women In Poetry

All artists need a Muse, a source of inspiration, something which sets their spirits aflame, ignites their senses. Something to make them feel that if they don’t attempt to honour that beauty and majesty their soul will burst from trying to keep it all in.

It may seem strange but it’s just the way my Muse works. I don’t think I am alone in feeling like this. I think it’s the soul of all creativity.

Why Black Women In Particular?

So what is it that makes me filled with inspiration to write poetry for Black Women? Why Black Women in particular? Because my Muse moves when I see Black Women, when I hear them, when I appreciate them on all levels, I am always entranced.

I have to celebrate Black Women; my Muse guides my hands in doing so, and I love being able to communicate what I feel in what I write. If I wish to write and write well, I need my source of inspiration, and my Muse requires her due, which I am more than willing to give.

MissLJay20 7

Luckily this has been easy of late. My Muse is beautiful, gives me so much inspiration to write, so much passion and energy that sometimes I don’t know if I will ever be able to pay it back in kind. I try my best and I am forever grateful for the gifts bestowed.

MISSLJAY20 4

And Now, My Heart Is Open

I once thought that I should guard myself closely, be closed off and wary, worried of possible heartaches and troubles, but I am now looking more and more towards being open-hearted and looking for the possible in all things, to be thankful in finding it, and rejoicing in the happiness of it.

I won’t question why I should be so lucky so I don’t spoil it, but instead be gracious, thankful and appreciative in having received it, and trying my best to honour the gift I have been given.

And that is what has inspired my latest poem, and I hope it conveys that as best as can be said.

Cheers!

 

We have to say, @MissLJay20 is a beautiful Black Woman – and Mike is blessed to have her as his Muse!

Join in the Fray: Who or what inspires YOU?

MIKE M - THIS ONEGot a question for Mike? Send it to us via inbox on The Swirl World’s Facebook page or by email to ASwirlGirl@TheSwirlWorld.com.

Follow Mike on Twitter @500and50 read his blog at 500and50.com, or message him on his 500and50 Facebook page.

 

Want to be profiled here on the blog and on our Facebook page? Contact us via inbox on Facebook or send an email to ASwirlGirl@TheSwirlWorld.com.

Copyright © 2013 Michelle Matthews Calloway, ASwirlGirl™, The Swirl World™, All rights reserved.

 

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Mondays With Mike: “Why I Celebrate Black Women In Poetry “

Mondays With Mike is BACK!

Our guy Mike in Australia has been on a bit of a hiatus since he took a new job. He’s a sensitive soul, Mike is, and he’s a poet.

His muse is a beautiful Black Woman whose Twitter handle is @MissLJay20.

Mike's Muse

Mike wrote a poem for her and shared it with us:

Just one word and I’m over the edge,
Falling from the walls of isolation,
Into the abyss so open and inviting,
Calling your name on the spiral down.

I once held on for dear life to it,
Clutching my fears with bloodied fingers,
Bruised and scraped my way to a higher loft,
And saw to lock myself away in a gilded cage.

But the merest whispers of your words sang,
And the locks and chains broke away,
So easily the walls did fall,
Did they even exist?

So now I descend freely into the space,
And a song of a thousand voices bear me aloft,
To fall with the weight of a feather,
Burning heart into the arms of an Angel.

We love it!

Stay tuned; next week in Part 2, Mike goes into detail about why he celebrates Black Women in his poetry.

MIKE M - THIS ONEGot a question for Mike? Send it to us via inbox on The Swirl World’s Facebook page or by email to ASwirlGirl@TheSwirlWorld.com.

Follow Mike on Twitter @500and50 read his blog at 500and50.com, or message him on his 500and50 Facebook page.

Want to be profiled here on the blog and on our Facebook page? Contact us via inbox on Facebook or send an email to ASwirlGirl@TheSwirlWorld.com.

Copyright © 2013 Michelle Matthews Calloway, ASwirlGirl™, The Swirl World™, All rights reserved.

 

 

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