Love Never Fails

Love is patient, love is kind.

It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.

It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking,

It is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.

Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.

It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

 Love never fails.

(1 Corinthians 13:4-8 NIV)

The prayers, words of encouragement, and affirmations have been pouring in, and I just want to take a moment to say “Thank you!” I am in the throes of this difficult exam but I am determined to stay the course. Passing this exam is the last major hurdle before moving on into the steps for preparing and writing my dissertation – I’ve come too far and through too much to stop now!

I was just whispering a brief prayer of thanksgiving for the love I am blessed to have in my life, and then the song Tell Him by Colbie Caillat popped on in my iPod. This song was written by Lauryn Hill and for those of you who don’t know; it is a take on a passage in the Bible from 1 Corinthians 13, which is also known as “The Love Chapter.”

A portion of the passage is provided above, but here are some highlights from Lauryn’s song:

Let me be patient let me be kind
Make me unselfish without being blind
Though I may suffer I’ll envy it not
And endure what comes . . .

Now I may have faith to make mountains fall
But if I lack love then I am nothin’ at all
I can give away everything I possess
But am without love then I have no happiness
I know I’m imperfect
and not without sin
But now that I’m older all childish things end

I’ll never be jealous
And I won’t be too proud
Cause love is not boastful
And love is not loud

Now I may have wisdom and knowledge on Earth
But if I speak wrong then what is it worth?

To me, so much of what 1 Corinthians 13 says speaks to relationships.  Of course when we think of “relationship” we often think of our S/O, and it certainly applies. But this passage (and song) is so much broader than that – it speaks to our relationships with people: how we interact with them and how we treat them. This love thing is a two-way street, and everyone in the equation is tasked with the responsibility of making sure they love each other right. And you know what? That “rightness” means not focusing so much on what you do to me and how you love me, but how I love YOU.

Focusing on how I love you gives me the ability to first realize and recognize my imperfections, and that I need love and tolerance just as much as you do. Next, focusing on how I love you enables me to do what the passage says: Be patient, be kind; not boastful or proud. It helps me to not dishonor or mistreat someone – and if I am mistreated, to not keep a record of the wrong that has been done to me, but to forgive and let it go. It helps me to always protect, always trust, always hope, and always persevere.

In other words, it helps my love to never fail.

When SM and I made the big decision to date exclusively with the intent of marriage, we both had to take a long, hard look at the potential impact our relationship might project on our family and friends. Yes, the decision was ours to make, but we had to be realistic and decide if we cared enough to continue loving each other in spite of any obstacles we faced. I remember telling SM that the only person who could change the way I felt about him – was him. When I love, I love. Period. The end. (And yes, he made the same affirmation to me).

I believe if more couples approach their relationship armed with a “my love will never fail” mentality, they would be able to withstand any storm life sends their way.

[Sidebar: Ahhh . . . so much for my not engaging in any “heavy thinking!”]

*_*

Here are three versions of the song for you to enjoy!      

 

(Watch for a glimpse of Michelle-O in this one!)

 

 

Join in the fray:

Who/what is your “unfailing love?”

Jump Day

I came apart inside a world
Made of angry people
I found a boy who had a dream
Making everyone smile
He was sunshine
I fell over
My feet like bricks under water
And how am I supposed to tell you how I feel?
I need oxygen

Oh baby, if I was your lady
I will make you happy
I’m never gonna leave, never gonna leave
Oh baby, I would be your lady
I am going crazy…for you

And so I found a state of mind
Where I could be speechless
I had to try it for a while
To figure out this feeling
This felt so right
Pull me upside
Down to a place where you’ve been waiting
And how am I supposed to tell you how I feel?
I need oxygen

Oh baby, if I was your lady
I will make you happy
I’m never gonna leave, never gonna leave
Oh baby, I would be your lady
I am going crazy…for you

~Partial lyrics to Oxygen by Colbie Caillat & Jason Reeves

 

It was starting to get a tad bit late; more so for SM than me because of our one-hour time zone difference. All the conversations, e-mails, instant messages, and texts had come to a head, and we both sensed it.

SM, in his characteristically logical and sensible way, cut to the chase.

Him: “I’m really enjoying our friendship and I want to take it to a more serious level. Do you feel the same way?”

I’m not one to play games, so I met him head on.

Me: “Yes, I do.”

Him: “I know you’ve never dated a White guy, and I’ve never dated a Black woman before. We’ve talked about it, but now we need to decide if we want to move forward and take that step. Are you ready?”

It was time to put up or shut up.

Me: “I sure am!”

SM: “Well, how bout we just take a leap of faith, jump into the unknown, and see where we land?”

Me: “On the count of three . . . .  “

SM & Me: “One . . . two . . . three . . . .”

JUMP!

We didn’t just jump: We dove in.

We dove in feet first; with the abandon of children.

We jumped into a pool of uncertainty, determined to swim instead of sink. We believed our diverse backgrounds and open minds gave us an edge; how hard could it be? Knowing what we wanted helped and we believed we had found the one. Differences in skin color, race, ethnicity, and culture notwithstanding, we know what really mattered was the person underneath. We shared similar principles and values – and loved each other’s quirky sense of humor. We believed that life isn’t about the destination, it’s more about the journey – and we knew we wanted to travel through life together. We didn’t plan to face life head on; instead, life was going to face us.

Yesterday we celebrated the two-year anniversary of that fateful conversation. Since then, we’ve laughed, we’ve cried, we’ve fought, negotiated, compromised, and made up. We’ve made each other almost as mad as we’ve ever been, and happier than we ever thought possible. We’ve navigated the dynamics associated with the meet and greets of family and friends, and braved (and returned) the stares whenever and wherever we encountered them. We’ve fielded questions (whether they made sense or not), and tried to be gracious when we received unsolicited advice (and believe you me, advice of the unsolicited variety abounds). We keep learning about ourselves, about life and people, and above all, each other.

He colors my world, and I color his. May our jump day never end!            


As time goes on
I realize
Just what you mean
To me
And now
Now that you’re near
Promise your love
That I’ve waited to share
And dreams
Of our moments together
Color my world with hope of loving you

~Lyrics to Color My World by Chicago, written by James Pankow

Join in the fray:

What pool have you “jumped” into?