Words of Wisdom from A Married Girl in a Weird World

January 23, 2013 by 1 Comment

We love, love, LOVE blogger and vlogger Eugenia Berg – aka Married Girl in a Weird World.

Eugenia is happily and interracially married. She and her hubby are expecting Baby Berg later this year!

Today’s Subject: There IS a Difference!

Today, Eugenia discusses the reality of self sabotage in today’s vlog. Psychology Today defines self sabotage as behavior that “creates problems and interferes with long-standing goals.” Eugenia provides examples of this behavior taken from the best source possible – her own life.

According to Eugenia, there is a difference between self-sabotage and vetting. She asks, “Do you understand what it is?” Eugenia has written two other blogs pertaining to self-sabotage and vulnerability in relationships. You can find those blogs here, and here.

STOP SELF SABOTAGE

For a complete mini workshop on the subject of self sabotage, I invite you to read Eugenia’s two blogs and listen to her vlog.

After you read the blogs and listen to the video, feel free to ask Eugenia any questions you like.

In the meantime, listen and learn, people.

Listen, and learn.

Join in the Fray: In what ways have you engaged in self sabotaging behavior?

I’m blogging every day in the month of January in Blogher’s NaBloPoMo Challenge. Thanks for reading, and feel free to comment!

Copyright © 2013 Michelle Matthews Calloway, ASwirlGirl, All rights reserved.

 

 

 

 

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Hitting the Reset Button . . . . .

July 3, 2012 by 6 Comments

So on July I started the 31-Day Reset Challenge with Rosetta Thurman, creator of The Happy Black Woman. I’m a Woman, I’m Black, and I’m all about the Happy so I’m excited to do this challenge! According to Thurman’s website, the challenge is designed for “Anyone who wants to manifest a change in their life, design a more fulfilling existence, make room for new possibilities or simply gain more clarity about their path to happiness and success. This challenge will especially be of benefit to you if you’ve felt stuck or in a rut during the last year.”

Needless to say, 2011 didn’t rank as one of my Top Ten best years because I was definitely stuck. Sometimes, whether you like it or not, life decides to smack you all upside the head (I believe the politically correct term is “blind side.” Same difference – and definitely the same effect. I’m just saying.).

The event that blindsided me left me stuck, yet I’m happy to say that I’ve recovered and I’m no longer reeling and rocking. Now, instead of being in a rut as a result of being blindsided by Life, I’m agreeing with the assertion that Life Goes On. I’m on a mission to keep it moving and this 31-Day Reset is just the ticket to propel me forward.

Day 1 of the challenge required us to pick a journal to write in, decide on a mantra,  and select a personal theme song. Because I’m now navigating some very pivotal areas of my life (more on that in later posts), my mantra for the 31-Day Reset is this:

“I am not afraid. I was born to do this!”

~Joan of Arc

My personal “theme song” is “I’m Every Woman” by the imitable Chaka Kahn. This song has run in the background of my head from the first time I heard it. It’s so much of part of me that when I find myself in difficult situations, I often say to myself, “I’m every woman; it’s all in me” to give myself an extra boost of courage.

This reset could not have come at a better time, because I’m afforded some much-needed down time as I wait for my dissertation proposal to undergo review. Each day I’ll try to post some tidbit from the 31-Day Reset Challenge. If you’re interested in jumping in on the fun, sign up here while there’s still time to take the challenge for free.

Want to do the 31-Day Reset Challenge vicariously through me? Then stay tuned for updates! Follow me on Twitter on @ASwirlGirl or on Facebook at The Swirl World.

Join in the fray: What areas of your life need a “reset?” What practical steps are you taking to “reset” your life?

 

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Let the Good Times Roll! (2011 Festival International)

May 4, 2011 by 2 Comments

This past weekend I had the pleasure of attending the 2011 Festival International in Lafayette, Louisiana. This was the 25th year for this annual event and I had a BLAST! So many sights, sounds, colors, food, and people!

Here’s a blurb from the website (emphasis mine):

 “Festival International de Louisiane is truly a community event drawing together approximately 1,500 volunteers from all segments of the community to work together to celebrate both our diversity and the common human experience that binds us together. Through the arts presented and the joint efforts to produce it, the festival contributes to the spirit of community that is so unique to the Acadiana region.

The annual 5-day festival is held during the last full week of April. Historic downtown Lafayette, Louisiana, is transformed into an entertainment complex featuring six music stages, food court areas, street musicians and animators, arts and crafts boutiques, art galleries, beverage stands, cultural workshops, international cooking demonstrations and a world music store.

All programming for the festival is designed to celebrate cultural expression in a variety of forms and to encourage understanding and appreciation for different cultures. Festival International events are free to the public and designed to encourage family participation from all sectors of the community.”

Think about it: Five days FILLED with experiencing and celebrating diversity, community, the arts, cultural workshops, and international cooking???

I think you get the picture.

The Southwest region of Louisiana, also affectionately known as “Acadiana,” hosts annual festivals based on a variety of different themes and local specialties. For instance, Crowley, LA, known as “The Rice Capital of the World,” annually hosts the “International Rice Festival.” Rayne, LA (shout out!) boasts that it is “The Frog Capital of the World,” and correspondingly hosts annually the “International Frog Festival.”

[Sidebar: Any excuse to throw a party is better than none . . . .]

There was a ton of things to see and do so I was able to capture only a mere smidgeon of what the Festival offered. I hope you enjoy the photos and videos.

Upcoming Festival line up:

Festival Acadiens et Créoles – October 14-16, 2011

http://www.festivalsacadiens.com/index1.html

International Rice Festival – October 20-22, 2011

http://www.ricefestival.com/

International Frog Festival – November 9-13, 2011

http://www.raynefrogfestival.com/site/

Acadiana Film Festival – November 17-20

http://www.acadianafilm.org/festival/11/

I love festivals and cultural events, but I must say my love for this genre has increased since meeting my SM. He is a master at finding these events, researching the high lights, and making sure we capture the best and most essential parts. I can hear the wheels turning in SM’s head even from here. I’m a native Louisianan, but I can guarantee you that when it’s all said and done he’ll know much more about these festivals than I do. 

Avec SM, je peux vraiment laisser les bons moments de rouleau! 

(With SM, I can really let the good times roll!)

These sculptures were SO lifelike . . . .

  


Join in the fray:

How do you “let the good times roll?”

So lifelike . . . so eerie!

They stalk the streets . . . .

What fun!A little Mardi Gras flavor . . .

A few brave souls joined in the Indian dance . . .

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Jump Day

April 22, 2011 by Leave a Comment

I came apart inside a world
Made of angry people
I found a boy who had a dream
Making everyone smile
He was sunshine
I fell over
My feet like bricks under water
And how am I supposed to tell you how I feel?
I need oxygen

Oh baby, if I was your lady
I will make you happy
I’m never gonna leave, never gonna leave
Oh baby, I would be your lady
I am going crazy…for you

And so I found a state of mind
Where I could be speechless
I had to try it for a while
To figure out this feeling
This felt so right
Pull me upside
Down to a place where you’ve been waiting
And how am I supposed to tell you how I feel?
I need oxygen

Oh baby, if I was your lady
I will make you happy
I’m never gonna leave, never gonna leave
Oh baby, I would be your lady
I am going crazy…for you

~Partial lyrics to Oxygen by Colbie Caillat & Jason Reeves

 

It was starting to get a tad bit late; more so for SM than me because of our one-hour time zone difference. All the conversations, e-mails, instant messages, and texts had come to a head, and we both sensed it.

SM, in his characteristically logical and sensible way, cut to the chase.

Him: “I’m really enjoying our friendship and I want to take it to a more serious level. Do you feel the same way?”

I’m not one to play games, so I met him head on.

Me: “Yes, I do.”

Him: “I know you’ve never dated a White guy, and I’ve never dated a Black woman before. We’ve talked about it, but now we need to decide if we want to move forward and take that step. Are you ready?”

It was time to put up or shut up.

Me: “I sure am!”

SM: “Well, how bout we just take a leap of faith, jump into the unknown, and see where we land?”

Me: “On the count of three . . . .  “

SM & Me: “One . . . two . . . three . . . .”

JUMP!

We didn’t just jump: We dove in.

We dove in feet first; with the abandon of children.

We jumped into a pool of uncertainty, determined to swim instead of sink. We believed our diverse backgrounds and open minds gave us an edge; how hard could it be? Knowing what we wanted helped and we believed we had found the one. Differences in skin color, race, ethnicity, and culture notwithstanding, we know what really mattered was the person underneath. We shared similar principles and values – and loved each other’s quirky sense of humor. We believed that life isn’t about the destination, it’s more about the journey – and we knew we wanted to travel through life together. We didn’t plan to face life head on; instead, life was going to face us.

Yesterday we celebrated the two-year anniversary of that fateful conversation. Since then, we’ve laughed, we’ve cried, we’ve fought, negotiated, compromised, and made up. We’ve made each other almost as mad as we’ve ever been, and happier than we ever thought possible. We’ve navigated the dynamics associated with the meet and greets of family and friends, and braved (and returned) the stares whenever and wherever we encountered them. We’ve fielded questions (whether they made sense or not), and tried to be gracious when we received unsolicited advice (and believe you me, advice of the unsolicited variety abounds). We keep learning about ourselves, about life and people, and above all, each other.

He colors my world, and I color his. May our jump day never end!            


As time goes on
I realize
Just what you mean
To me
And now
Now that you’re near
Promise your love
That I’ve waited to share
And dreams
Of our moments together
Color my world with hope of loving you

~Lyrics to Color My World by Chicago, written by James Pankow

Join in the fray:

What pool have you “jumped” into?


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